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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to you all!  Sorry I haven't been around here on the blog much lately.  Life has thrown a few curves at me but I'm back in the swing of things now.  I've had multiple Drs. appointments that includes seeing a Neurosurgeon for my back issues.  We're in the process of deciding if she can create a positive outcome with my surgery.  I have a follow up appointment in February.  Still have to do the flex Xray to show how much my spine slips forward when bending.  The fancy name for this problem is called spondylolisthesis.  I've completed the MRI of my lower back and now need to do an MRI of my cervical area.  I also have a herniated disc in my neck area.  The neurosurgeon wants to make sure the cervical area isn't impacting some of the problems in the lower back.  She has assured me she will not do the surgery unless she can promise I will have a better quality of life after the surgery.  At this points she feels it's questionable which left me in tears when I left her office.  I try to be a positive person but this is testing my limits.  I want so badly to be able to have the ability to walk for any distance at all.  Without this option right now it's compounding the pain with the Fibromyalgia.  In the past I was able to walk at least a mile every day or every other day and sometimes up to two miles.  This helped so much with the fibro pain.  I'm ready to be back to having better mobility.  But this too shall pass and I have faith there is a reason for all of this.  I have hesitated to share the negative sides of my life because I have sooo very much to be thankful for and I've always considered any little hurdles I might have as minor.  But no matter how hard I try this is really testing my limitations.  Living alone is pretty challenging right now.  I'm not able to do daily household chores that I've always done for myself.  My housekeeping is really falling behind.  I know it will be here when things improve.  But when will that day arrive?  Thank God I have a wonderful Pain Management Dr.  I can't imagine going through this without some sort of pain meds.  My heart goes out to those that don't have medical or prescription insurance.  This is truly a blessing for me for which I'm ever so grateful.  Stress really effects our pain and the last few months has brought a good bit of stress into my life.  Some of it good and some of it not so good.  But stress is stress and it does affect your body.  I'm so thankful for my faith in God.  My faith in the good Lord is what helps me to carry on.  The holidays were sort of lonely this year.  I spent Thanksgiving alone and only had my son and his fiance here for a couple of hours on Christmas eve.  My daughter lives in South Carolina and tried to work things out to make it home.  She was so disappointed that she couldn't make it but there's a reason for all things.  I hope to see her soon.  My son is busy with his life and I don't see him often either.  I hope this year will bring better times.  There are times in our life when we want to ask why Lord?  For instance a few days into the New Year my son and his fiance' lost their baby due to miscarriage.  She was approximately 12 weeks along.  My heart was breaking for them.  I know this sweet little angel is in heaven and for that we are blessed.  A few days after her loss she wrote to me and included this quote that someone had given her.  "The angel in the book of life wrote down my babies birth and whispered as she closed the book...too beautiful for earth."  Such a beautiful quote.  Well enough of the sad things and on to the New Year.  I hope and pray that 2011 will be a year filled with good health, love and laughter.  Today there's snow on the ground, the wind is gusting but the sun is out.  For this I say thank you Lord for a beautiful cold day.


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